All the procedures and process that you go through to learn with this CD and workbook on the correct handling of your child program has been such an adventure and yet an blessing.All the techniques were explained in black and white and all of them work. I don't think there has been an better program out there that is so explanatory and healing. I have so many notes written and mental notes as well, but I don't think I will need them anymore. I believe we both are on the right track to success and we understand each other so much more.
Thank you for all the help and support.
The tapes have had a much profounder result than I expected. The information is effective with children, spouses as well as everyone else that you touch. Realizing that Reactivity is a way to eliminate progress in any situation. it had become an important area for to focus. My daughter, husband and I have been making strides in changing our dynamics. I would definitely recommend your spouse if applicable, to listen and work on the methods as well.
We just started listening to the CDs and began using techniques described in disc 1 & 2...had an episode with our oldest child this morning and I was able to remain calm and explain why he wasn't going to get to do what he wanted ..(without being emotionally "fused" to him). He stormed off and started whining. Normally, his meltdowns would affect us and we would react to his behavior, but this time we just sat and calmly continued what we were doing without being dragged into his drama. He came back to the room where we were (I'm sure a little confused at first) and joined us after a short time with a much better attitude.
The Calm Parent program has opened my eyes and has changed by approach to parenting in a VERY positive way. I purchased the program because I felt like my way of parenting wasn't working. With every confrontation that took place with my children about chores, homework, or requests in general, I would end up yelling what I wanted them to do. The program has worked, because it taught me to remain calm, because when you yell, it looks like you are out of control. Now, I give the request, they have the choice to either do it not (that is their responsibility), however, they know now that the consequence will either be positive or negative...they choose. If they empty the dishwasher, then and only then can they watch tv, play video, or do they activity they want to do. They have responded well because the rules are clearly spelled out for them, and are doing what they need to do without giving me a hard time. All parents would benefit from this program.
I have now stopped arguing back.....I don't allow my child to "hit my buttons" so that I react to what she says. I have learned to walk away....or have learned to stop arguing back when I give them a directive.
What a change in the environment in the house......listen to what they tell you to do and try it!!!!!
I purchased this program because I face a challenge everyday raising two grandsons who have ADHD. Not only are their personalities different but there is another child also, a older sister. I am trying to achieve a balance in their lives,a security and a calmness for all of us.
My choice in getting this program was because I had been wanting to try out the Total Transformation Program and the Calm Parent was added on to that program.
I find that both of these programs really helped me to have a better way to verbalize my expectations to my children without having to yell so much. I feel better knowing that I can talk to my kids without getting frustrated that I am talking to a stubborn kids.
I found myself in this process because for so long I could not express what my expectations were. Now I can listen to my children and guide them to the right choices.
So far I have learned or remembered things that I am able to use. I have also learned a few things I did not know before about how my children (13 and under) think. I have not yet completed the program, so I anticipate being able to be calm and therefore be able to answer yes to the question in the survey upon my completion of the program.
This program is empowering. The proven techniques and strategies worked for me! The CD's and workbook are a crash course in parental education and training. The program helped me stay calm because it should me how to stay in control. The program showed me how to approach conflicts differently, what position to take, and how to express myself.
I was. Having a lot of arguments with my defiant son. We were always loud and it did not take me any where it just made me more upset and confused. The calm parent made me understand a lot of things, but finally got some peace into my life. It have me options on how parent more effectively.
When I first heard about this program, I was sitting in our car with the radio on....praying. Praying for some help with our grandson who was anything but calm. This beautiful little boy wanted his own way all the time. Mostly he had reached the point of refusing to do any homework...even when we worked with him. CALM PARENTING gave us the tools to help our grandson keep the 'control' that he felt was necessary while giving us back 'the control' that we had somehow lost. Believe me that we will be grateful for CALM PARENTING for the rest of our lives. I am so happy that I was tuned into the radio that day to hear about this meaningful program.
I ordered The Calm Parent AM & PM to help my daughter and son-in-law deal with my grandson's unruly attitude. As we were listing to the CD's, my son-in-law kept saying that's me, I need to change. Since we have gone through the sessions, the attitude of my grandson has changed because he realizes he can not control situations by disrespecting his parents. My daughter and son-in-law has taken James recommendations seriously and learned they have the power to control confrontations by using what they learned in the sessions. My grandson has tried his parents a couple times but has realized they have changed how they handle situations. One suggestion would be to add some video to the CD's whether it be James in a room setting talking to his partners or a couple situations like he is describing. I would recommend The Calm Parent AM & PM to anyone that wants to get back into control of their children.
I purchased the program because I have 16 year old and 12 year old boys. The 12 year old wants to be 16 and the 16 thinks he's 21. Calm Parent helped me better myself at walking away instead of feeding into the yelling matches. You just have to remember that you can teach them and tell them the right roads to choose, but you cannot force them to choose it. I do much better walking away and allowing a "cool down" period before we regroup and talk it out and help my kids recognize that the situation ultimately a result of their bad decision. They have gotten much better now that they recognize that a situation that requires attention boils down to their first "decision/reaction" to the situation.
I purchased the program due to having difficulty with my 14 yr old son. I did not realize how reactive I was to his behavior and this brought light to the situation and that I too needed to change. I realized I needed to take a different approach and its been successful and less stressful. Great program!
Hello, my name is Cheryl and im from Washington State. I'm a mother of four children and two of my children are ADD, ADHD. So i deal with problem soving on a daily. I had a hard time keeping calm ! To be honest i had a hard time keeping my cool and didn't know how to communicate with my kids when they where in a mind state of frustration. There frustration became my frustration. This program helped me define there situation as not mine which gave me clearity and able to help them reconize there problem or moment of anger, frustration ,sadness, anxiety. The Calm program helped me to stay calm by allowing me to reconize im in controll of my own emtions and there defiant behavior has a consequence. I had to look at there situation in a different light. that is what i took from the program and it helps me with the issues i have and im sure there are more to come. My goal is for my kids to be able to over come lifes struggles with a sense of calm rational decisions. This program has helped me also to reconize the struggles ive also been through. I'm just happy that i found the right tools to insteal in my kids so they also can raise happy and fuctional kids in todays sociaty. So thank you for the program we are a still a work in progress but in time it will feel more natural.
The Calm Parent AM & Pm offers the easiest techniques a parent can utilize for regaining control and stepping up in behavioral situations causing difficulties. The tools a parent has for helping their young impressional minds need to begin with a role of calmness and calming techniques.
Never before I have I found such an inspirational collection of solid advice as provided in The Calm Parent Am & Pm. This parenting tool is sequenced for practical experiences that make beautiful sense that will last through your entire helping process and improve your relationship! I hope you enjoy this tool to the extent of actually becoming a product that helps your child make the changes necessary for positive and successful development.
I knew we needed help managing our children's behaviour and as much as I wanted THEM to change, I knew that the change had to start with me. So before ordering The Total Transformation I started with The Calm Parent program. This was so helpful in helping me to stay calm regardless of what was going on with the kids. It was very easy to listen to and even my husband (who is usually more skeptical) liked what Debbie Pincus had to say. I put her advice into use right away and it has definitely made a difference. Combined with The Total Transformation, which I am currently working on, our home life has improved so much. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown before I adopted the lessons in both of these programs.
My husband and I are strong-willed and hard-headed people who have never shied away from confrontation. It only makes sense that our daughter would also follow in the same strong-willed manor. The thing we didn't expect was how our yelling would effect her and in turn encourage the same bad behavior. After one session with The Calm Parent, something really clicked, we really started to understand our tendency to "fuse" with each other and try to control each others emotions. We immediately began noticing when we were experiencing these shared emotions and began to allow each other separateness resulting in a huge improvement in our reactions. We are still working through the lessons and workbook, but each session adds new insight and depth of understanding which has helped our entire family become more emotionally healthy than ever before. Together all three of us are improving in our reactions and responses, learning how to allow space for feelings and being much calmer. I'd highly recommend The Calm Parent to any parent (or even spouse) looking to gain control and insight into personal responses/reactions to normal behaviors.
Though there were many, my largest "take away" from this series was the concept that I can only control my behavior. Oddly, i say this to my children all of the time about their reactions to each other and had honestly not fully applied the concept to myself. Once I realized that the power is in how I react, not changing my children, life got easier.
I purchased The Calm Parent program in order to have tools in my back pocket of how MY behavior needs to be in order to help my children make better decisions. This program has helped me in so many ways including: how to walk away from the situation, remain calm, talk to my child once we have both calmed down and to treat the problem as business versus personal. I can not say enough good things about this program and how it has helped me change my parenting style!
what i took away from this program is to not take your child's behavior personally. basically, within limits, just accept the emotional growing pains as part of their development. don't let constant battles taint your relationship, in 5 years you will want a good relationship with your child. as always, expect respect and responsibility but almost put your mindset 5 years fast fwd and imagine if the things that set us off now would even matter in the long term/big picture. that said, i am not saying lower the bar for expectations, just try to remember that your child's intent may not be malicious/directed towards you. my sister actually asked me "what is going on with you? why are you so calm?"
I have struggled with staying calm for years with my kiddos and I found a lot of peace and help with these cds. I drive alot for work and decided to listen to them in the car. It has been exactly what I needed to hear. I'm able to understand better why I did struggle with this and now apply these techniques when I feel challenged with getting heated again. I highly recommend them and am so thankful I made the purchase.
After purchasing The Total Transformation, I realized that our success would be founded in the transformation of our parenting as much as our children's behavior. We purchased the Calm Parent believing that it would equip us with practical principles on staying calm, but discovered quickly that it is so much more! The Calm Parent has helped me to fully understand the dynamics which have been at work in our family that were contributing to our obstacles and negative outcomes. This program has walked me step by step through the process of breaking free from controlling my children's behavior to equipping them successfully with a model for effective problem- solving. Our parenting is still not perfect, but we are moving in a direction that has empowered us to lift a burden off our children, and to have much greater peace and serenity regarding our discipline, influence, and guidance. The general level of anxiety has been greatly reduced in our household, and we are encouraged and looking forward to even greater results in the future thanks to The Calm Parent.