We started noticing that our 5 year old son was being very defiant. He was sassing, swearing, slamming things, not listening, wanting or may I say we were teaching him to argue and of course before this program we were arguing right along with him but just a little louder. We are just starting the AM part of the program but so far, I have put the steps in place for MYSELF and boy he does see the difference and does try to do the "CHANGE BACK" but I have not gave in, We are only but a couple times in the past couple weeks have had to ask him only once to stop chasing the animals, getting ready for school so we are not late. The only thing for me is coming up with appropriate consequence for his age, but lately we have not needed consequences. Thank you so greatly for creating this program. It has helped us to help ourselves learn that he is his own person.
I purchased this program due to ongoing communication and behavioral difficulties with my two adult daughters. My ex-husband was very abusive. Consequently my daughters have suffered greatly in their coping skills. I was fortunate enough to get needed help through counseling, but the youngest daughter who is now 28 still has a pattern of acting out. I am still in the process of digesting the program, but find that certain phrases in it are already helping, such as "Anxiety is infectious, but so is calm." So far the results I see pertain primarily to myself and the thoughts I am having about how to put what I am learning into practice with my children, in particular this younger daughter. My opinion is that this program is valid for application to most human relationships. It will be of use to my eldest daughter in her marriage as well as in raising her young son. It will also help her to navigate her own difficulties better. I have spoken of it with my sister who has three girls suffering greatly at the hands of their manipulative father (her ex-husband. People in our culture don't realize that conflict between humans is inevitable and that the skills needed to successfully navigate through these conflicts can be learned. This program demonstrates this fact very effectively. It should be required material for couples considering having children. I would even go so far as to say it should be required material for couples considering marriage. If it were observed, perhaps children (and parents) could be saved a lot of grief and wasted energy in the future.
Initially,I purchase the Calm Parent Program to help me manage anger and to talk calmly with my niece and nephew of drug addicted parents. Unfortunately,they placed back with their parents. I used to the program to help my now adult daughter and elementary daughter who suffers from a nerves disorder that causes her to pull out her hair. By utilizing the program I learned to minimize my anxiety and remain calm to help my daughter stop pulling out her hair badly. Today her hair is beginning to grow back and the pulling is down to a minimum thanks to the calm parent program. Thank you
After starting the program I didn't see results at first and realized that in the beginning it was geared for older children. I modified my thinking to apply to my 6 year old boy. He has vastly improved without the negative actions he had previously exhibited. He's calmer in school and much nicer to his sister and myself. The aggressive hitting has stopped along with the nail biting. I'm really pleased. Definitely would highly recommend. There is so much peace in my house and the yelling has ceased.
dealing with self determined and definitely self centered kids is frustrating. These as the other programs in the series provide a step by step solution (cook books are great for ingredients and their proportions)!!!
We tried this program in conjunction with The Total Transformation Program. It does have some helpful hints, especially as how to calm yourself when in the heat of potential battle with your child. Truthfully did find much of it repetitive, and some areas conflicting with the advice James gives in the TT. The Code Words and the cues each letter stands for we are sugggested to remember when facing confrontation are too long to be recalled with rapidity. So, having just finished it this week, my husband and I both rate this Calm Parent program a 6 or 7 out of 10, compared to the 10 out of 10 we would give the TT.
I purchased the program for my 3 year old I found that my 2 children were totally different and what worked for my first child now 19 did not work for my 3 year old. I felt like pulling out my hair, I was at a loss of what to do and all we seemed to do was have screaming sessions because my 3 yr old is very verbal and talks like a 5 year old or older very smart she would start screaming throwing a fit and the louder she got the louder I got sometimes we both cried I didn't know what to do and I thought if I cant handle her at 3 what's it going to be at 13 and I was afraid and disappointed in myself I wasn't the kind of parent I wanted to be but after listening to these calm parent cd's it has helped in the relationship with both my girls it has helped me let go of my 19 yr old as much as I can she started college moved to the dorm and I thought I would die but its ok now I was finding my idendity wrapped up in my kids I didn't know where to draw the line of where they ended and I began. I felt I needed to be there 24/7 for anything they needed and felt guilty for wanting to go out alone. I am now free, still a work in progress but my house is a much calmer place and me and especially my 3 year old are happier she goes to bed without a 2 hour fight and its wonderful I recommend this program for everyone.
I found that although it's, a times,very difficult to stay calm in the moment, it's beneficial and works. Sometimes I have to step away from the situation to gather my calm, it works. It may take longer at times to restore calm in my son and myself but eventually everything calms down and we can work things out without the escalation of the situation. Don't stop trying! Stay the course and you will see and feel the difference. Be loving about it. Acting calm and actually being calm are two different things and your child will know the difference and it's not productive.
I have been using this technique with the empowering parent and love them both. I have learned to stay calm with different techniques and walk away when things get heated. It also helps with my daily life and work.
I purchased the Calm Parent AM and PM because I have been anxious for a few years about my relationship with my kids. My kids are pretty typical teenagers who have been pushing back to assert their independence. This pushing has led to conflict and reactivity in our household. I knew in my heart there had to be another way to do things, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Fortunately, this program has provided me with that "other way" and I am grateful for the insights and techniques I have learned. The main concept that I learned is to become less fused with my kids, so I can let go and give them the room to solve their own problems and become more responsible for themselves. The result is that I truly do feel more calm and I feel a lot better about my relationship with my kids. Thank you!
I purchased the Calm Parent program because I was a screamer. The smallest things would set me off. After listening to the CDs, I have actually learned to get a hold of myself. Especially having a response ready when I start to feel heated, that has been the best tool for me. I highly recommend it. Things that used to bother me before just don't now.
I purchased the program because I am raising a grandson with ADHD and ADD and I was at the end of my rope. I found myself yelling a lot which afterwards only caused me more stress. The stress was caused from the fact that I let this little boy drive me to yelling and it made me feel out of control. I did not like the person doing the yelling. My frustration level was pushed over the edge and I would yell because I felt it was the only time he really heard or took me seriously. The Calm Parent made me look at the over all picture differently and taught me to step back and think before I opened my mouth. I found ways to interact without yelling. I did not have to beat myself up because I felt I had lost control. This was a major plus for me. Feeling guilty about your actions as an adult take there toll on you, at least they did me. The bad feelings I would have after I yelled were worse than my actual yelling. It was a vicious circle for me. But learning ways to handle situations in a calm manner was a double win for me and probably for my grandson as well. I have actually carried this over to other problems in my life. Calm management far surpasses out of control.
My teen was forever arguing with me about everything which was driving me insane. From the very first CD I realized how I was reacting to my teen instead of being in control of the situation and that I was helping to feed arguments, rather than disengage from them. My teen's anger seems to be dispelled much quicker with my new way of acting.
I purchased it to gain knowledge on handling our young youth because, some time being empathic doesn't always work. Also, the physical part doesn't always work if you think about in some ways being a child is like pledging. You get yelled at you must following and, do what your guardian says and, some times you get hazed mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. "My Thoughts"
I didn't purchase the program, my mother did, as she saw my struggles being a single parent to a pre-teen. The examples were excellent and the solutions was so profound. What I didn't notice was a lot of reference to single parents. However, the solutions provided were still sufficient. Perhaps there should be some additional focus on the struggles of single parenting, specifically when girls don't have their fathers in their life or as much as they should be. That has been my struggle.
I really love the flow of the lessons. I also like the workbook because it really makes me think about my parenting skills and my children's behavior as opposed to just listening to CDs and trying to implement what I hope to remember.
Most important is the skills learned to separate the energy of the child from the parent, this allows for non judgement and the truth of actions to become clear. The focus then can be placed upon the activities needed to move the child forward, improving results. The parent becomes directed towards the benefit of completed activities and not the emotional upheaval. Great consistency in the program, an honest approach to improving relationships,.
I purchased this program because i was and still are a reactive parent. This program has given me the tools to be able to be separate from my children emotionally and deal with them with my thinking. I am also learning not take their behaviors personally and to create the structure they need to be responsible and also be respectful and calm when dealing with them.
I found this program very helpful. I was at a breaking point with my daughter that was struggling with anxiety and school issues. I felt like I was stuck in a cycle of reaction and anger all the time. I was losing myself and ruining my relationship with my daughter. I found this program very helpful in determining what was mine to own, then the program gave great steps on different ways to relate to my daughter. I has helped our relationship and the overall home atmosphere. I would recommend this program to other families struggling.
We have a daughter we adopted and she didn't learn much her first 6yrs of her life. We got her at 6 so we have to teacher her everything from age 1thru she is 10yrs now. Her and mom are always yelling at each other and mom was at the end of her rope didn't know what else to do. So I bought your program and It is so much quitter at our house. And our daughter is listening better and understands she is in control of what happens to her. And my wife has learned to listen more, and control her temper and take time before she jumps into the problem. They sit now and talk things out instead of yelling. Your program has helped out tremendously. My wife is filling out the survey. Just with the holidays she is trying to get thing going for it we will get it in as soon as possible. THanks again for such a good program.